Life On A Cotton Ball

Conversation

2012-02-24T07:30:00.000-05:00

One of the funniest conversations Ive ever overheard:

Mother: Oh my gosh, my filling came out!

Child: How long does it take for a new one to grow back?

Wacky Packs

2012-02-23T21:56:00.001-05:00

Those things are darn funny!

A Letter

2012-02-23T07:30:00.000-05:00

To Whom it May Concern:

Recently, your "identity" became known to me. Until now you were just another faceless blogger. Now, maybe a bit less so. I dont know you. You dont know me. We have never met. Yet, you made an impact on my life. How you ask? Well, it goes like this:

A couple of years ago you wrote an article which I read. That article really had a profound effect on me. You see, the point of your article was to bash some of my beliefs, things which I hold quite dear. Your article inspired me. It made me sit down, study and review the reasons why I believe in what I do. It made me realize that throughout my life I may be confronted by people like you who will try bashing the things I believe in. I wanted to make sure I had what to answer them. I therefore wanted to thank you; you are one of the reasons I am so firm and confident in my beliefs today. As a return courtesy, I wanted to offer you some advice.

You see, in your article you said some rather unpleasant things about a certain holy man and his followers. When some people read articles like yours, they get hot under the collar and rush to defend the honor of the person / people which the article attacked. I dont do that. I believe that the life that the person you were bashing led and the work which his followers do speaks for itself. Yet, although when you disrespect a holy man, he himself very often couldnt care less, G-d could. For the past while, things in your life have apparently not been working out that great for you. Things arent the way you want them to be. My suggestion to you is, as much as it may "hurt" your pride, pick yourself up and go to 226-20 Francis Lewis Boulevard. Go at three in the morning if you dont want anyone to see you. You have some talking to do with the man who is buried there. Maybe then things in your life will take a better turn.

Sincerely,
The Professor

Vespa

2012-02-22T11:25:00.001-05:00

Does anyone around here drive one?

End Game

2012-02-22T07:30:00.001-05:00

Stocks are a great example of how one needs to remain focused. If someone freaked out every time the market hiccuped and pulled out their money after a tiny drop in share prices, they could never hope for their investments to succeed. Patience and focus is needed. Keeping the goal in mind is necessary. So is understanding that the market fluctuates, but ultimately, if youve invested properly, youll (hopefully) come out on top.

Get A Grip

2012-02-22T07:30:00.000-05:00

Stuck.
Floundering.
Unable to move.
Glued to the floor,
Cannot get in the groove.
Clinging on to thin air.
Not realizing its beyond repair.
Unwilling to move forward,
"It is just way too much to bare".
Sits there all night ripping out hair.
Writes all about it, but that brings no change.
All it causes - if anything is to be looked at strange.
Keep agonizing about it and become deranged.

A shout-out to the random soul who draws inspiration from this poem. It was indirectly written for you.

Allies & Enemies

2012-02-21T22:03:00.001-05:00

"We have no eternal allies and we have no perpetual enemies. Our interests are perpetual and eternal and those interests it is our duty to follow" - Lord Palmerston 1848

Suspenders

2012-02-21T07:30:00.000-05:00

As a sort of followup to yesterdays post, I thought Id just write something about suspenders. Those things are truly great. They can add so much more to the outfit than a belt can. Theyre whimsical and can also serve to "highlight" a muscular upper body.

I recently bought an awesome pair. Theyre grey with a white stripe down the middle. They go perfectly with the suit I usually wear on shabbos.

Guys & Clothes

2012-02-20T07:30:00.000-05:00

Apparently there are many guys who have a hard time dressing themselves. Whether its shopping they have issue with or simply picking out clothes, dressing nicely seems to just baffle some dudes. Enter Frank and Oak. A new online site which puts together a monthly wardrobe for a guy. The site is geared for young adults, so everything is priced at fifty dollars or less.

They also have a really cool option of letting the curators know what type of clothing you like and once a month they will ship you a selection of clothing based on your preferences. You then have the ability to try the clothes on at home, send back what you dont like and keep what you like. You arent charged for the items you dont keep, so its ot like youre buying and returning. The site is currently for members only, but there are invite codes to be had. Here is one. http://foak.co/rjja/rqt

Recourse

2012-02-19T22:31:00.000-05:00

Sometimes the only recourse is to smirk...

Help Needed

2012-02-19T07:30:00.000-05:00

From the back of a box of Kleenex Ultra Soft:

"Pamper yourself with uplifting softness"

"The right touch to turn your day around. Whether you're stuck in a rough patch, feeling under the weather, or just in need of some extra kindness and care, Kleenex Ultra soft tissue will pamper you with indulgent softness that lifts your spirits and inspires a smile".

My thoughts: Anyone who turns to a tissue when they are in need of a smile has serous issues. Ones which will take a lot more than a tissue to solve!

Ideas

2012-02-17T07:30:00.001-05:00

Im already thinking about purim. Im unsure about what to give for mishloach manos. Last year I did chocolate champagne bottles and some random doodads. Two years ago I did the first letter of the last name of the people I was giving to in chocolate (so if your last name was smith you got a big chocolate "s" that said "mith" on it). This year, back in LA, getting stuff from The Chocolate Moose isnt an option. (BTW, most people who know chocolate in Toronto think Chocolate Charm. Chocolate Moose is way better. Its on Bathurst and Glengrove right next door to Hermes). Im sort of stuck. Ideas, anyone?

Bummer

2012-02-17T07:30:00.000-05:00

O'bummer was in town today. The traffic the dude causes is insane. He hangs in places and takes roads which make no sense. He brings the city to a standstill. Somehow when Bush came he was able to work things out that the city didnt have o shut down for him. But I guess Obummer is too busy giving interviews about "punishing our enemies" and meeting his hollywood friends...

Issues

2012-02-16T07:30:00.000-05:00

I have a business acquaintance who is constantly having issues with people. Mention anyone in front of him -literally anyone - and he will have something bad to say about the. "Shes a #@$%, he's irresponsible, they have bad customer service". etc etc. The list goes on and on. What I find humorous is that in truth, he is the one with the issue. Many of the so called "irresponsible" companies he rants about are places I deal with on a daily basis. Places which I know to be extremely responsible and offer great service. The problem is that he is disorganized, cheap and a bit too egotistical. People dont really like dealing with him. Its sort of ironic how he thinks the issue is with everyone else, but nearly everyone who does business with him find him to be the issue.

Marrying "Young"

2012-02-15T07:30:00.000-05:00

Last week there was a letter put out by various Chabad rabbanim and roshei yeshivos urging bachurim to "marry young" (ie. right after getting smicha). One of the signatories was my former rosh yeshiva. This past week has been pretty funny, all the guys have been emailing and texting each other to "find out" who is going to be the first one to "follow orders". I havent yet decided who I'm gonna place my bet on...

Tuesdays Random Tidbits

2012-02-14T07:30:00.000-05:00

Why do many toothpastes have food coloring in them?

Do you like chocolate better cold and hard or warm and soft?

To end off with a quote i really like "“I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.” - Thomas Jefferson

"Intermarriage"

2012-02-13T07:30:00.000-05:00

Inter racial marriages can sometimes be a lot more complicated than they seem. To start off with they can seem fairly simple. Once its actually happening, it can get complicated. The most basic "mix" a sefardi and ashkenazi can be interesting. Many such marriages work amazingly, others dont. I think its probably harder with the guys being sefardi and the girl ashkenazi. Anyhow, not to really delve too deeply into the subject, what I wanted to say is this: It may seem all nice and wonderful to say we are all jews and these things shouldnt make any difference. Reality check, they usually do. Some rational non-hormonal / liberal - la-lal-land- minded thought is required before embarking on such a journey....

Redistributing Wealth

2012-02-12T21:10:00.000-05:00

This video offers a great perspective on wealth redistribution.

Pain

2012-02-12T07:30:00.000-05:00

For some reason I often dont feel well motzo shabbos. Its always a sudden thing, il feel well the entire day and then suddenly after havdalah get a headache or just feel "blah". My mom always jokes that I feel the pain of my neshama yesaira leaving.

Same Old

2012-02-10T07:30:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I somehow got into a conversation with someone about what I eat daily. I went through my daily routine and they were pretty shocked to hear that I eat the exact same things every day. Their thought on the matter was that "only guys could do that. A girl would need it to change up a bit". Thoughts?

Superhuman

2012-02-09T23:14:00.001-05:00

Humans are fragile. Thats why it pays to be superhuman.

The Moment

2012-02-09T07:30:00.000-05:00

You know that moment when there is suddenly a flash and suddenly things appear in a whole new light? When you start realizing whats real and whats fake? What you'll keep and what will fall to the wayside? When you suddenly feel a sense of direction, a sense of where you want things to end up, where you want things to go?

Its pretty amazing. And eye opening. It is also a moment of truth. Its a time which you have the opportunity to make big decisions, very big decisions. The key is to have the guts to make them, as well as the insight to make them correctly.

My Trip To New York

2012-02-08T07:30:00.000-05:00

So Ive finally had a minute to sit down and write abit about my trip to New York. It was Baruch Hashem pretty nice. It went by very quickly. My flight arrived friday morning an hour early. I went straight to the ohel. It was great to be there so early, (4 AM) as the long lines had yet to form. Later in the day one can wait up to an hour to get n and then only have around five minutes inside the actual ohel. From there I went to 770 where I davened etc. Later on I had the chance to meet up with some friends and try out the new pizza shop in CH Pomedori. It was half decent.

Friday night was nice. 770 was packed. I dont remember yud shvat ever being so full. Shabbos day I davened in the Rebbe's room. Motzo shabbos I attended a small farbrengin for Toronto alum and then went to the big farbrengin at Bais Rivka.

Its pretty cool to meet literally every single guy you have ever come across at any point in your life. Everyone from all your years in camp, yeshiva and just "around" are there. Rabbi Wilhelm from yeshiva in Detroit farbrenged pretty nicely, as did Rabbi Pikarski.

Sunday morning I went with a friend to Williamsburg to try some ice cream shop. We got there and found it closed due to filming for some hatzalah video of ladies singing in an ice cream shop (ya, i know. beats me_). I found it really funny, my friend didnt. It was like ironic, schleping there and then finding it closed. My friend was all like" why is it that you can find it funny and I am annoyed by it?". I was like just take a chill dude, see the humor in it. Anyhow, they let us in after a bit. Cookie dough ice cream is really overrated. Caught a cab to the airport, driver was a nice lady from Trinidad. She commented how I am the second hassidic guy to ever make conversation with her while in the cab. She said the other guy was also from LA. She told me about the time she saw the Rebbe walking in the rain and offered him a ride. She also shared an interesting line with me, said by the former prime minister of Trinidad: "Money is not the problem, the problem is money". Chew on that.

Next was my flight home and seeing watching the Patriots lose. It wass sad. As much as I dislike Bill Belichick, I dislike New York more. I was torn as I really didnt want either toeam to win. But as most of the people on the plane were New Yorkers and were going for the Giants, i felt the need to go for the Pats.

Anyhow, I BH had a really nice time and all that sorta stuff. I saw old friends, went to the ohel and strengthened my convictions to NEVER live in New York!

Trained Young

2012-02-07T07:30:00.000-05:00

My mother was running a bit late with some things yesterday and asked me if I could do carpool for her. along with my little brother, I took home two other kids. While driving, we passed by a U-haul truck which was driving with the back open. The kids were wondering if the driver realized. As I passed the truck, one of the kids aged around 7 noticed that the driver of the truck was female. He right away commented "Oh, its a lady driving the truck. That makes sense; ladies are crazy drivers".

Trust

2012-02-05T23:55:00.000-05:00

Not really sure who would care,
Dont know if I should bother to share.
So many years,
of wear and tear,
All come home to roost,
like a mean old grizzly bear.

I look around the room,
not sure who I can trust.
Is he thinking anything,
or is his head just full of rust.
Will he really prove to have,
my back, in the long run.
Or will he quickly turn around,
and pull out a gun.

Finding someone in whom to have faith,
is not all fun and games.
Extremely hard and trying,
scrolling through hundreds of names.
Finding just the one,
can take hundreds of days.

Figuring it all out,
does really pay off.
Having someone,
at whom everything does stop.
Knowing that someone,
can be trusted to to the utmost,
is something worth raising up a glass,
and offering a toast.

2012-02-05T07:30:00.000-05:00

I'm in leaving frown heights later today. Shabbos was really nice. I saw a lot of my friends and had a very uplifting time. A more detailed post to come once I'm back in LA.

Today

2012-02-03T07:30:00.000-05:00

So people, today is Yud Shvat. Its the yom hilula of the Previous Rebbe as well as the day which our Rebbe accepted the nassius. Below is a letter from the Rebbe with the customs of Yud Shvat.

By the Grace of G-d Rosh Chodesh Shvat, 5711 Brooklyn, N.Y.

To Anash, to the students of Tomchei Tmimim, and to those who have a bond or a relationship with my revered father-in-law the saintly Rebbe, of blessed memory:

G-d bless you all.

Greeting and blessings:

In reply to the many questions that have been asked about a detailed schedule for the Tenth of Shvat, the yahrzeit of my revered father-in- law, the Rebbe, I would hereby suggest the following:

On the Shabbos before the yahrzeit [each chassid] should attempt to be called for an aliyah to the Torah.
If there are not enough aliyos the Torah should be read [a number of times] in different rooms. However, no additions should be made to the number of aliyos [at each reading].
The congregation should see to it that the Maftir should be the most respected member of the congregation, as determined by the majority of the congregation; alternatively, the choice should be determined by lot.
The congregation should choose someone to lead the prayers on the day of the yahrzeit. It is proper to divide [the honor, choosing] one person to lead Maariv, a second to lead Shacharis, and a third -- Minchah. In this way a greater number of Anash will have the privilege.
A [yahrzeit] candle should be lit that will burn throughout the twenty-four hours. If possible, the candle should be of beeswax.
Five candles should burn during the prayer services.
After each prayer service (and in the morning, [this means] after the reading of Tehillim), the sheliach tzibbur should study (or at least conclude the study of) chapter 24 of Mishnayos Keilim and chapter 7 of Mishnayos Mikvaos. He should then recite the mishnah beginning "Rabbi Chananyah ben Akashyah...," followed silently by a few lines of Tanya, and Kaddish deRabbanan.
After Maariv, part of the maamar (Basi LeGani) that was released for the day of the demise should be recited from memory. If there is no one to do this from memory, it should be studied from the text. This should also be done after Shacharis, and the maamar should be concluded after Minchah.
Before Shacharis, a chapter of Tanya should be studied. This should also be done after Minchah.
In the morning, before prayer, charity should be given to those institutions that are related to our Nassi, my revered father-in-law, of sainted memory. Donations should be made on behalf of oneself and on behalf of each member of one's family. The same should be done before Minchah.
After Shacharis and the recitation of the maamar, each individual should read a pidyon nefesh. (It goes without saying that a gartl is worn during the reading.) Those who had the privilege of entering [the saintly Rebbe's study] for yechidus, or at least of seeing his face, should -- while reading the pidyon nefesh -- picture themselves as standing before him. The pidyon nefesh should then be placed between the pages of a maamar or kuntreis, etc., of his teachings, and sent, if possible on the same day, to be read at his graveside.
In the course of the day one should study chapters of Mishnayos that begin with the letters of his name.
In the course of the day one should participate in a farbrengen.
In the course of the day one should set aside a time during which to tell one's family about the saintly Rebbe, and about the spiritual tasks at which he toiled throughout all the days of his life.
In the course of the day, people (to whom this task is appropriate) should visit synagogues and houses of study in their cities and cite a statement or an adage drawn from the teachings of the saintly Rebbe. They should explain how he loved every Jew. [Furthermore,] they should make known and explain the practice that he instituted of reciting Tehillim every day, studying the daily portion of Chumash with the commentary of Rashi, and, where appropriate, studying the Tanya as he divided it into daily readings throughout the year. If possible this should all be done in the course of a farbrengen.
In the course of the day, people (who are fit for the task) should visit centers of observant youth -- and, in a neighborly spirit, should make every endeavor to also visit centers for the young people who are not yet observant -- in order to explain to them the warm love that the saintly Rebbe constantly had for them. It should be explained to these people what he expected of them; they should be told of the hope and the trust that he placed in them -- that they would ultimately fulfill their task of strengthening the observance of Judaism and disseminating the study of Torah with all the energy, warmth and vitality that characterize youth.

If prevailing conditions allow, all the above should of course be continued during the days following the yahrzeit, and particularly on the following Shabbos.

May G-d hasten the coming of our Redeemer, and then "those who lie in the dust will awaken and sing joyful praises." And our Nassi among them will give us wondrous tidings, and lead us along the path that leads up to the House of G-d.

(The mishnayos for the Friedeker Rebbe can be found here )

Adiós

2012-02-02T13:30:00.000-05:00

So fellers, Im flying to New York today. Its gonna be a quickie, in and out, but oh so worth it. Yud Shvat by the Rebbe is pretty amazing. There are going to be an estimated 2500 guys coming in for the weekend. Anyhow, il have you all in mind at the ohel, if anyone has a specific thing they want held in mind feel free to email me / comment on this post.

Perverse

2012-02-02T07:30:00.001-05:00

Last night my younger sister brought up something rather disturbing. Apparently a one of her friends friends just got engaged. The problem is, she is 15. They are waiting until she turns 16 so that she can get married with parental consent.

The kicker, the guy she is engaged to is in his thirties. She is supposedly "gorgeous" and hes got money.... I may be crazy, but I think he is a pervert. He and the girls parent should both be hung.

Trees

2012-02-01T07:30:00.000-05:00

Small and round,
buried deep in the ground,
lost, completely forgotten by all those around.
Lies dormant, not making a sound,
wont be found, not even by a trained blood hound.

Fast forward just a bit and it starts to show,
what was hidden before now started to grow,
little by little planting its roots,
and as it gains a strong foundation upwards it begins to shoot.

A tree cannot begin to grow without a seed,
that tiny hidden thing is what it needs.
It starts off hidden, it starts off small,
but if nurtured properlly it grows big and and tall,
spreading its branches providing shade for all.

Its time for our system to do the same,
for now theer are too many useless things being sown into kids brains.
Foundations gotta be pride in being a Jew, Pirush Hamilos, basic halacha, to name a few.
No point in rushing to 'lomdus', if its all got no roots,
with no solid grounding it'll all just go to boot.

Hate

2012-01-31T07:30:00.000-05:00

Hate is a strong word. Nevertheless, that is what Im feeling now. I hate USPS. Second time this year they have messed me over. Last year they lost a package I sent. They reimbursed me for it after over a month of attempting to locate it. Then, three months later it was suddenly delivered. Yesterday something even better happened; I had a package mailed to me with a tracking number and all. They claim it was delivered yesterday, the problem is, it wasnt. There were people home all day yesterday and no package was delivered. Heh. Now the fun begins...

UPDATE: I located the package. They delivered it to the wrong address. north instead of south. I have no idea why. It was addressed correctly. For all those wondering what the package was, it was this:

Available for purchase right here

It now adorns my kitchen wall. It is little things like this which makes Etsy so amazing. (My poor mother. She is always having to explain all the things I hang up n the house. Back when I was around 14 I bought a nice mezuza case for the front door. Problem was it was too small for the parchment. So I decided to just hang the empty case on the opposite side of the door frame. It confused countless people. My mother constantly had to explain to people why there were two "mezuzos" on the door... It stayed there until we moved.)

Books

2012-01-30T07:30:00.000-05:00

Gifted with a book.

One which was gifted many a time before.

Printed in 1895.

Filled with more than just wisdom.

Filled with history.

The covers filled with names of all the previous owners.

Passed down for years.

Someday I will pass it on as well.

Who Will Be There?

2012-01-29T07:30:00.000-05:00

Guest post by "Lou"

Who will be there,
when Im sick and hungry?

Who will be there,
while I writhe in pain?

Who will be there,
when my heart stops beating?

Who will be there,
while I lie there bleeding?

Who will be there,
when I'm face down in the mud?

Who will be there,
when I'm over and done?

No one will be there,
for any of the above.
For I will die friendless
lonely with no love.

Home

2012-01-27T07:30:00.000-05:00

Late at night, but I dont feel alone.
No one around, but this is still my home.
The land that G-d to me,
Every mountain, cave stone and tree.

I stand here, laying claim to every inch.
Nothing anyone does can make me flinch.
I know that Hashem is on my side,
I stand here proud, refuse to run and hide.

Soon the day will come when the shofar will blow,
all Jews together, to Yerushalayim will go.
On that day, the whole world will finally know,
Hashem Echad Ushmo Echad - ein od milvado.

The Rebbe will be standing there, leading the way.
Smiling at all of us, proud that we've seen this day.
At the large farbrengin, he will turn to us and say;
"Hegeya zman geulaschem - I am here to stay".

Cereal Fanaticism

2012-01-26T07:30:00.000-05:00

Cereal is a big thing at my house. We arent the "yogurt" or "greek cheese" sorta people. We stick to good old cold cereal, with the occasional bowl of oatmeal on a cold day. We have tried prett ye much every available kosher cereal out there. Therefore, when a new one comes along, it is almost exciting. Enter dulce de leche Cheerios. When I first heard of it I was sure it would be an OU-d product. Surprisingly, it wasnt. It recently became available at the local supermarket and I purchased a box.

The box's design is nice, the name is exciting and it temps one to buy it. How it fairs in the bowl is an entirely different story. From the start it has the same old "General Mills" sort of smell. The taste is the same. Without milk it tastes decent, but leaves a very long lasting unpleasant aftertaste in ones mouth. With milk, I had a hard time finishing my bowl. It tastes rather similar to Trixs, just minus the fruitiness. It has this sickly sweet thing to it which makes it hard to eat. Overall rating: two stars.

For Every Black Frock a Glock: Time to Arm the Rebbe’s Army

2012-01-25T18:52:00.000-05:00

From the Algemeiner

On the 26^th of November 2008 the world recoiled in horror as the infamous Mumbai terror attacks unfolded. Three days later, unthinkable death and devastation remained. For the Jewish community the brutal murder of Chabad emissaries Gabi and Rivka Holtzberg highlighted the vulnerability of many that stand at the forefront of community work in remote corners of the globe.

Now, over the past few weeks, it has emerged that two other Chabad centers had been identified as targets in thwarted terror attacks.

On January 13^th, Thai authorities announced that they had arrested a Lebanese Citizen on suspicion of planning a terror attack in Bangkok. The New York Times reported that “Western intelligence agencies know that Hezbollah operatives have scouted El Al offices and counters in Thailand, as well as the Chabad House in Bangkok.” Security analysis blog Debkafile went a step further claiming that “It was to have followed the same lines as al Qaeda’s 2008 assault on the Mumbai Chabad center which killed 8 Israelis and Jews – only more ambitious.”

On Monday, Haaretz reported that in Baku, Azerbaijan, “The Azeri ministry said it had arrested a cell that planned to “kill public activists,”……..it became apparent that the intended victims were two Israeli Chabad emissaries, a rabbi and a teacher employed by the “Chabad Or Avner” Jewish school in Baku.”

Israeli Interior minister Eli Yishai was right when he explained to Israeli security chiefs that “Chabad Houses in many countries are “the soft underbelly” of attacks because of the high volume of Israeli tourists and backpackers.” Additionally, Chabad houses and rabbis are highly visible and symbolic targets for would be terror planners.

It is admirable and a source of great inspiration that the ‘Rebbe’s Army’ is by no means deterred by the inherent daily risks that they are undertaking for themselves and their families, standing at the forefront of Jewish communal activity wherever Jewish life is to be found. But what can be done to minimize the risk that many Chabad rabbis face?

Public displays of Jewish pride are an integral component of the Chabad modus operandi, precluding the possibility of lowering the profile of their activities. Whatever the risks, you won’t find a Chabad center buried within a building complex – like a Synagogue I visited in The Hague, Holland a few years back – that wouldn’t display so much as a small Star of David to mark its presence.

Of course investing in the hiring of security services and personnel is an option, but the expenses can become quite significant. The most effective security setup that I have seen, is in the South African Jewish community which established the Community Active Patrol (CAP) in 2006, an organization that in effect serves as a private Jewish army. Ex military personnel armed to the teeth, and dressed from head to toe in black, patrol communal areas in imposing vehicles, investigating any suspicious activity. Their budget in 2011 was over 4 million rand, about half a million U.S. dollars. Rabbi Wilhelm of Bangkok told Mishpacha magazine that “We have security 24 hours a day – at our expense, and at the cost of between 60 and 80 thousand dollars a year.” Unfortunately, for many Chabad houses that are struggling to pay their bills for basic necessities like rent and electricity, the cost may be prohibitive.

A far cheaper and very effective strategy would be for the various Chabad emissary support groups to encourage the purchase of personal firearms for each rabbi and facilitate their weapons proficiency training. As recorded in Chabad literature they would be following in the footsteps of the previous Chabad Rebbe, Rabbi Yosef Schneerson, who, when informed of a threat from ‘gangsters’ that intended to attack him, made sure to carry a pistol. Perhaps an appropriate next project for the billionaire patron of the ‘shluchim’ Gennady Bogolubov would be to establish a ‘gun fund.’

Of course, this would only apply in countries where gun ownership is legal. According to gunpolicy.org this includes Thailand, India and Azerbaijan under the following terms, “Applicants for a gun owner’s license are required to prove genuine reason to possess a firearm, for example, hunting, sports shooting, collection, and self-defense.”

Additionally, if a Chabad gun policy were to be established and widely publicized, it would serve as an effective deterrent to would be attackers, who would likely rather seek the path of least resistance.

After all, wouldn’t one expect ’the men in black’ to be strapped.

Pictures

2012-01-25T07:30:00.000-05:00

You know when you randomly stumble upon old pictures of yourself? Ones that make you go wow, remind you of the good times you had? Last night I came across some old pictures of mine. I was going through my hard drive and came across some pictures I hadnt seen in a while. They were from a road trip I did a number of years ago. I came across some pictures of me in Colorado at the Royal Gorge. The Royal Gorge is a pretty cool place. The worlds steepest incline railway, highest cable car and highest suspension bridge are all there.

The bridge has the flags of all 50 states. I couldnt pass up the opportunity to take a pic with the flag of the Great ~~Socialist~~ Republic of California.

Anyhow, finding these pictures really brought back fond memories. They were of some pretty good times. On a side note, I'd love to go back to Colorado. Awesome place. Gorgeous, great air, snow, wildlife and just a whole host of other awesome things. If you havent been, you should visit someday...

Date Venue Idea

2012-01-24T07:30:00.000-05:00

So a friend recently told me of venue he likes using for dates. I thought it was pretty original, Googled it and saw that it is pretty unique. He likes going to furniture stores. Were obviously not talking Ikea, we're talking a more upscale Ethan Allen sort store.

He gave a number of reasons; A) Theyre pretty quiet, comfortable and one can spend time there without being disturbed. B) It can be an interesting conversation on the topic of styles. C) The very fact that its unique makes it different and stand out.

So people, furniture store, thumbs up or down and have you ever gone to one on a date?

Wedding Gift Protocol

2012-01-23T07:30:00.000-05:00

A question which I have thought of for quite a while, debated before a number of wedding and have finally decided to pose to you people:Whats nicer, buying a gift from / a registry or handing the guy a check?

~ ~ ~

In football news, yesterdays games stunk. Shame on them.

Gehza

2012-01-22T07:30:00.000-05:00

So say there was a family who were chassidim from the times of the Mittler Rebbe, but then became Kapust after the passing of the Tzemach Tzedek. Then as most Kapuste chassidim did, returned in the times of the Rebbe Rashab. The question is, are the considered "Gezha" or not? On the one hand, they were always Chassidim, and even more so, they were the "maskilim". They real thinkers all went to Kapust while the "farmers and peasants" stayed in Lubavitch. On the other hand, at the end of the day the Kapusteh wasnt one of the seven Rabbeim. I say it counts. Anyone?

I Miss You

2012-01-20T07:30:00.000-05:00

My love for you is really deep,

without you, how would I sleep?

All the time we spend together.

Get rid of you? Never!

They tried chasing you away.

I got on my knees, begged you to stay.

You said "For now I cant come back".

"I must go till they cut me some slack".

As I watched you fade into the fog,

I couldnt help but let out a sob.

What are they thinking?

What dont they understand?

Losing you will just cause pain.

Flush thousands of jobs down the drain.

Amazon, to California please return.

The Democrats can just go and burn.

Thought

2012-01-19T07:30:00.000-05:00

Weird thought: If you were hit by a car. Lying in the street dying. You've already called your parents or significant other to tell them goodbye. You have one call you can make before you die, who is it to?

Wedding Halls

2012-01-18T07:30:00.000-05:00

A very close friend of mine is getting married next week. Like one of those guys whose wedding I would have to go to had he married an Australian. Luckily for me, he went ahead and got engaged to a LA girl, so I dont have to do any real traveling. His wife to be is former classmate of mine's sister.

So a couple nights back, me and a friend were hanging out and I mentioned the wedding. I pointed out how my former classmate's Bar Mitzva had been in the same hall / hotel, as were the Bar Mitzvas of all his other brothers. My friend wondered if the hotel owner is a supporter of dude-whose-sisters-getting-married's father (hes a shliach), and he therefore gives the, a good rate for usage of the hall . Then he came up with a better idea, "Maybe he went to the hotel and said listen, I have 12 kids. I will make all of their Bar Mitzvas and weddings in your hotel. But I want a serious deal". :-) Its not that shabby of an idea... People should really look into doing that....

Pajama Shopping

2012-01-17T07:30:00.000-05:00

Midnight. Maybe a bit before or a bit after. Hungry, maybe bored. Throw on a sweater and head to the local supermarket. back in my yeshiva days there was a "Metro" (large 24 hour supermarket) just a few blocks from the dorm. Head there at 1 in the morning and you can be sure to find some bachurim buying things as random as pomegranates.

A few nights ago I decided to head to Ralphs. It was close to midnight and I was in PJs. For some reason shopping in PJs just has this fun thing to it. Agreed? (Oh, if you were wondering what I bought, it was nothing much. A pack of wafers. You cant shop too seriously that late...)

Customer Service

2012-01-16T07:30:00.000-05:00

Dont we all love calling a company and getting placed on hold? This clip articulates the feelings those feelings quite well.

My new favorite experience BTW is with the payroll company I use. It is ran by a bunch of Chassidisher guys, Boro Parkers, all with English names. The names they chose are classic. Even better are the girls they have working for them. There seem to be 10 girls all "named" Tina. Tina. Out of all names why that? "One of the guys" theorized that its because growing up they all had Puerto Rican maids and stuff, so those are the only sort of English names they know... Decent theory, dontcha think?

Something For Sunday

2012-01-15T07:30:00.000-05:00

Yup, another football post. How can I not mention last nights game? Tebow and his Broncos were decimation. Destroyed. Humiliated. Heh. Now the plan is for the Patriots to lose next week and the Packers to go all the way.

Not exactly "Tebowing" but almost...

In other news, dont you hate when people try using "big words" that dont really make any sense? Like words which make them just sound like theyre trying way too hard? It gets on my nerves. Badly.

To end off with a question, There was a girl whose mother died. At the funeral she met a guy she really liked. A week later she killed her sister. Why? (No cheating and googling the answer.)

Canis Lupus Familiaris (In other Words - Dogs)

2012-01-13T07:30:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, on my way home from work I saw something pretty sad. There was an adorable little dog running down the sidewalk. It had obviously just run away from home and seemed very lost. Seeing it wander around helplessly was sort of sad. The little guy looked something like this, just minus the sweater.

I love dogs. Always have. I never understood why most Frum people are scared of them. Ive seen grown men run from Dachshunds! It just makes no sense to me! Are you afraid of dogs, and if yes why?

(Oh, and here's a great clip by The Chasers.

)

Democrats

2012-01-13T02:43:00.000-05:00

Gone Forever

2012-01-12T07:30:00.000-05:00

Just yesterday,
There was activity
Things happening on her wall
Posting pictures
Accepting friends
Joining contests
Throwing sheep
Staying up chatting
Not going to sleep
In a blink
Silence reigns
No movement
No noise
Friends useless
Pictures pointless
When in the ground
Only the worms matter

Surprise

2012-01-11T07:30:00.000-05:00

Rush hour
Traffic
Car rolling slowly
Windows down
Eyes drooping
Stomach growling
Home beckons
Red light
Waiting
When there is a noise
A ping on the roof
Wondering what it could be
And then I see it
Looking down from the roof
Through my windshield
I roll up my windows
While laughing
At the funny situation
No little squirrel
You are not welcome in my car

Battleground

2012-01-10T07:30:00.000-05:00

Running, jumping, falling in the snow,
falling down, standing up,
shouting "go go go".
Adrenaline rush,
energy coursing through my veins,
running some more,
running from the insane.

Heart is beating,
pounding away.
Noise is deafening,
but we're here to stay.
Will continue fighting 'till the battle's won,
will not leave until all the work is done.

Climbing over the mountain,
carbine tightly being gripped,
looking all around,
a wire was supposedly tripped.
Not finding anything, I slowly fade away,
into the surrounding shadows,
ready to pounce on my prey.

The moment comes,
the seconds of truth,
I jump out of the bushes,
bash his skull in with a root.
Stand there and flex a muscle,
The battle has been won.
I can calmly go home and rest,
until the next war does come.

And I Eat My Hat

2012-01-09T07:30:00.000-05:00

Heh. Tim Tebow pulled it off. I was sure Denver was going to lose. In retrospect, Pittsburgh was down a number of players and big Ben was hurt. But credit where credit is due; Denver showed up to play. Not to worry, however, New England is going to decimate them next week.

Attn New York

2012-01-08T07:30:00.000-05:00

Hey New Yorkers, today is the annual "No Pants Subway Ride". It starts at three PM. More details can be found right here. Check it out!

~ ~ ~

Quotes from this weeks shabbos meal:

"Why be confined by English, if you cant find a word just make one up!"

"Why be a normal person if you can be weird"

"This week is my 22 wedding anniversary. 22 years and one week ago I didnt know my wife. I only found out her name three days before the wedding." - HOLY BAZOOKERS!!!

Friday Funny

2012-01-06T07:30:00.000-05:00

The weekly LatmaTv Tribal Update. Enjoy!

A quote from a friend"In elementary school my teachers wouldnt give me my tests back because they didnt want me to feel bad".

Have a wonderful Shabbos / Shawbis!

Mirage

2012-01-05T07:30:00.000-05:00

Out at desert,

out at sea,

staring hard,

not sure what it could be.

Eyes straining,

hoping to see,

it is for naught,

it alludes thee.

Where is it holding?

What does it mean?

Is it for real,

or just a fantasy?

Is it a picture,

found only in my mind,

a picture which no one else can find?

How To Irritate A Liberal

2012-01-04T14:28:00.001-05:00

Cute new website. How To Irritate a Liberal dot com.

Just A Bit Loony?

2012-01-04T07:30:00.000-05:00

This sticker just seems a bit....strange?

Heh.

Why I Hate Politics

2012-01-03T07:30:00.000-05:00

Guest Post by Anon. The views expressed in this post are most definitely not mine.

I am zoning out, asthis conversation has gotten boring a long time ago. I like these people, andmost of the time they are great company, but when the discussion turns topolitics, I know it is time to excuse myself and go home.

Besides that I knownothing about politics, it doesn't interest me in the slightest. To me, it's agame, and not one which I want to get involved in.

I try to understand itwith relative examples. Take a classroom. There are rules in a classroom. Thestudents must adhere to the rules, otherwise there will be consequences. Thereis an order of authority. The teacher is in charge. The students must listen tothe teacher. The teacher answers to the principal. And the principal answers tothe dean, or the board of directors, etc etc. There is someone overseeing everylittle detail, and someone whose job is to make sure that everyone else isdoing their jobs.

But what if people actin a way that is not in accordance with the rules? Take a bully, for example.He decides that he wants to do whatever he feels like. If that means to pick onsomeone weaker than him, then so be it. Sometimes, a bully has a following,either people that he bullied into being friends with him, or people who thinkthat they will be protected or benefit by being on the bully's side.

In politics, there aremany people who set out to make a difference. They want to create change, theywant to help make the world a better place. Some of them are idealists and someare realists. And there is room for both.

And then there are thecorrupt politicians, the ones who do it for the fame or money, the ones whotake bribes, the ones who screw people over if it benefits themselves. Theworld can do without those types, except that it makes for exciting newsheadlines.

The discussion aroundthe table revolves around politics and I wonder, how does it relate to me? Whatbenefit would I have to know who's who, what's what, and to activelyparticipate? Not much. I am content to sit back and let other people take careof things. Is that wrong? Maybe. Some might say, I pay taxes, so of course Iwant a say in who runs the government, how they spend my hard earned money, andwhat rules they make.

Theoretically, Iagree. If I could pick and choose and see exactly where my taxes are going,then that would make sense. Yes, taxes help build streets and bridges which Iwalk and drive on. Yes, taxes help pay for the busses and subways so I get asubsidized fair. Yes, taxes pay the police officers who stand on my streetcorner and help keep me safe. So how can I say that I don't see a directresult? Because you forget where it came from and where it is going.

I also don't thinkthat the 'man in the white house' knows or cares who I am. And I also don't seehow my one vote out of billions even counts for anything.

But I guess ifbillions thought that way, then this country would have a dictator and none ofus would have a say.

Since we have freedomof speech, we should utilize it and make sure our voices are heard.

I am anidealistic-pessimist. I am not sure how that works, but on the one hand I wanta world of love and peace and harmony and equality and lawfulness,and no corruption. But on the other hand, I know that is by far impossible, andtherefore I resign myself to a world of corruption, of violence, of bribery, ofselfishness, and personal agendas. If this world were sinking, seemingly itwould be every man for himself.

In general, a perfectbalance is usually the best, neither one extreme nor the other. The world isnot perfect and the world is not horrible. It is somewhere in between.Lukewarm.

It says in pirkeiavos:

.רַבִּי חֲנִינָא סְגַן הַכהֲנִים אוֹמֵר: הֱוֵי מִתְפַּלֵּלבִשְׁלוֹמָהּ שֶׁל מַלְכוּת, שֶׁאִלְמָלֵא מוֹרָאָהּ, אִישׁ אֶת רֵעֵהוּחַיִּים בְּלָעוֹ

"Pray forthe welfare of the government, for without fear of governmental authoritiespeople would swallow each other alive" (3:2)

I will pray every daythat G-d give the people in power the wisdom and intelligence to run this greatcountry. But at the end of the day, I have no real interest in gettinginvolved in politics.

And in the meantime, Iwill sit back, listen with one ear, and wonder what is for dessert.

Unexpected

2012-01-02T07:30:00.000-05:00

Unexpected things come from unexpected places. We all know that and see it on a constant basis. Like yesterday; Packers vs Lions. Week before the playoffs, so the Packers star QB Aaron Rogers was sitting out. Starting instead of him was Matt Flynn, a seventh round draft pick making his first career NFL start. What happened next amazed everyone; Flynn broke two Packer franchise records! With six touchdowns and 480 passing yards, he surpassed former players the likes of Bart Starr and Bret Favre and current Packer great Aaron Rogers.

An occurrence like this Sunday's shows how all one has to do is try their best and G-d fills in the rest. I doubt anyone, least of all Flynn expected the game to turn out the way it did. But he gave it is all, so did his teammates and together they made history.

Again

2012-01-01T07:30:00.000-05:00

A new year started. Again. Same way it has been for the past some 5000 years. Heh. Anyhow, wishing you all a good one.

(For all of you who are gonna give me that religious nonsense about it being a secular year, as it clearly says in tehillim, "Hashem yispor bichsov amim". Eat that.

שאול בן הכנענית

2011-12-30T07:30:00.000-05:00

In the fifth portion of this week’s parsha, the Torah lists all the descendants of Yaakov Avinu. One of the names listed – to the family of Shimon- is “Shaul ben HaCanaanis”. Rashi immediately jumps on that and addresses the words “Ben HaCanaanis”. Rashi explains that HaCanaanis means Dina – the daughter of Yaakov – who had sexual relations with a Canaanite. Rashi goes on to explain, that after Dina was abducted by Shechem, she refused to leave until her brother Shimon promised to marry her.This Rashi raises some immediate questions.

Why does Rashi highlight the word “Ben”? The explanation he provides is on the word Canaanis, not Ben.

How does Rashi know that Canaanis means Dina and not an actual Canaanite woman?

Why does the Torah feel the need to mention the fact that Dina was abducted by a Canaani right here and why does the Passuk call her by the name Canaanis as opposed to Dina?

Why did Rashi add that last part that “After Shechem was killed Dina refused to leave until Shimon promised to marry her”?

How was Shimon allowed to marry Dina who was his sister from the same mother, something which was forbidden even to non-Jews?

So to understand this, one must first understand why the Passuk even mentions the Ben HaCanaanis thing. Shaul is the only one of Yaakov’s descendants whose mother is listed! The reason given is that the Torah wanted to let us know how special Shaul was, that he was related to Yaakov through both his father and his mother. This, however, begs a question, if the whole purpose of the Torah mentioning Shaul’s mother was to connect him to Yaakov, then why is Dina referred to as HaCanaanis, a seemingly derogatory name, as opposed to being called Dina? The explanation is that her being called HaCanaanis explains to us how she was allowed to marry Shimon, as we will see shortly, but now to digress slightly.

There is a question raised how Yaakov avinu was allowed to marry Bilhah and Zilpah. Rashi explained in Parshas Vayaitzay that Billhah and Zilpah were sisters, if so, marrying them should have been forbidden according to “v’esha el achosa lo sikach” (The question as to how he was allowed to marry Rochel and Leah was addressed in a previous sicha. The Rebbe will not discuss that here). The explanation is given, that since Billhah and Zilpah were children of a Pelegesh, a concubine (a wife without a kesuba), they weren’t considered sisters. The reason for that is that as Rashi explained in Parshas Chayai Sarah, that a Pelegesh is like a shifcha, a maid servant. The Halacha is, that “mah shekana eved kana rabo” – whatever a slave acquires belongs to his / her master. Therefore, children born to a Pelegesh never indeed belonged to her, they belonged to the master. That removes the issue of them being considered achayos m’haeim. They are similarly not considered achayos m’haav, as to the master they are considered “kaspoh” property, not children. As such, it was not an issue for Yaakov to marry them, as they were not classified as sisters.

Back to the subject at hand; in Rashi in Parshas Chukas, where a Jewish lady was taken into captivity, Rashi says it was just “shifcha achas” one maidservant. The question is raised, how did Rashi know that it was a maidservant, why couldn’t it have been a regular Jewish woman? The explanation is given, that as soon as one is taken captive and held against their will, they lose their classification as a free person, and gain the status of shifcha. Based on this, all the above questions can be answered.

Dina was taken captive by Shechem. As such, she lost her classification as free women, and became a shifcha. As a shifcha, she no longer had any family ties, therefore permitting Shimon to marry her! That is why the Passuk says Ben HaCanaanis, to tell us that she was considered a Canaani, and as such she was allowed to marry Shimon and her son was therefore connected to Yaacov through both his father and mother. The reason why Rashi mentioned the whole end part, how she didn’t want to leave until Shimon promised that he’d marry her is in order to thwart off the question that once she became free her family ties should have returned. Rashi tells us that she was asking her entire freedom dependent on marrying Shimon. Meaning, she was taking it upon herself never to truly be considered fully free, in order that she be allowed to marry Shimon.

This is a Sicha of The Rebbe from Chelek Hey of Lekutei Sichos. I highly suggest learning it in the original. I would link to it, but the site I usually get my sefarim from is missing this book.

Forever

2011-12-29T07:30:00.000-05:00

He stood there,
rooted in one place,
pain almost too much to bare.
Not moving,
he was stuck there.

Tried lifting, tried pushing,
but nothing could be done.
He was out there alone,
him - and no one.

Thinking long and hard,
his options he did weigh.
Finally making a decision,
in his heart he began to pray.
Violently pulling it until he heard a crack.
He then removed a knife
and cut his arm in half.

~ ~ ~

Im sure youve all heard of Aron Ralston. He was the inspiration for this poem.

Rumors

2011-12-28T14:30:00.000-05:00

Has anyone heard that Sdei Chemed is getting reprinted? Like with a new type set and all?

If true thats pretty darn big news! It would sell out in a heart beat!

Last Chance

2011-12-28T07:30:00.000-05:00

So, Im sure you have all been wracking your brains for the past while wondering what you should get me as a chanukka present. The nice guy that I am, Ive decided to finally hep you all out. I want this.

Im not really even picky. As Henry Ford said, "The consumer can have any color he wants as long as its black". I feel the same way. I also prefer hard top to convertible, but if need be im willing to settle. For any more details such as what color interior Id prefer, etc etc, feel free to email me :)

Whale Watching

2011-12-27T07:30:00.000-05:00

What do you do when you have a day off of work and want to do something a bit out of the ordinary? You go whale watching! I havent been out at sea for a few years, so it was nice to get back on a boat. The boat left from Long Beach and went about an hour out to the ocean. We saw a number of whales, as well as dolphins and sea lions.

Waiting around until you spot a whale takes patience. Until then you occupy yourself with other things - like making a bet with the guy next to you as to how many people would throw up from sea sickness. He called three I called four. I lost. Surprisingly only one person threw up! She couldnt understand why she became sea sick. She was wearing one of those bracelets that supposedly keeps you balanced, and didnt understand why it didnt work. Heh.

Plain Ole' Annoying

2011-12-26T07:30:00.000-05:00

I dont like it when people dont mind their own business. Starting from something as simple as asking what you do for a living - leading into who you work for, how much you earn and why you chose that career path. Then there are people who are even nosier. "Why did you choose to do things differently?" (Sorry. No commentary will be given on what exactly that question meant.) The kicker, Why dont you get married? Its like listen dude, I just met you five minutes ago, why dont you bug off? I didnt ask for your help or your opinion and hey, why dont YOU get married?

Sigh. That's what happens when people are bored over X-mas / channuka vacation. Thats why latkes and jelly doughnuts were invented. Some single people were tired of getting harassed, so they figured they could serve jelly doughnuts which would keep peoples mouths stuck shut and if that didnt work, serve them uber oily latkes to give them the runs.

Anyhow people, happy chanuka and keep your noses clean!

Farewell Oh California

2011-12-25T18:30:00.000-05:00

The state is beyond hopeless. It is amazing that a state that once led the nation in anti immigration reforms such as prop 187 is now a liberal socialist paradise. The laws which this "great state" passes are beyond "amazing".

Heh

2011-12-25T16:48:00.001-05:00

Moon-Dance

2011-12-25T07:30:00.000-05:00

The night the moon ceased to glow,
waters of the ocean to flow.
People were at a loss,
no one did know,
where were things heading?
Where would things go?

Then came the explosion.
Time just stood still,
from there and on,
things just went downhill.
A soft drizzle began to fall,
from the cloudless sky,
all the whilst she stood there,
eyes covered, just crying "why?"

As she was reduced to nothingness,
together with all her friends,
it began to look like life,
was coming to an end.
It was a winter without snow,
a spring without trees.
Silent, no birds chirping, no breeze.

Time flew by,
many years did pass.
Everything was the same.
Nothing has moved.
Nothing had changed.
Until one dreary morning,
a heap of bust stirred.
Dust - bodies that once were.

Particles formed together,
it looked like they were there to stay.
But then came another little drizzle;
and washed them all away.

Flames

2011-12-23T07:30:00.000-05:00

Slowly dancing to and fro,

sometimes it shrinks,

and sometimes it grows.

It jumps and it moves,

trying to get high,

but the second it lets go,

it sputters and dies.

It is a flame,

always reaching for the sky.

"I want to go back home"

is what it does cry.

Aim for the sky,

thats the directive the flame gives.

But keep true to your roots-

that's the only way you can live.

Truth In A Sea Of Lies

2011-12-23T00:14:00.003-05:00

This was one of the better videos Ive seen in a long time.

And The Winner Is....

2011-12-22T07:30:00.000-05:00

A number of years ago, when I was still a yeshiva bachur in Toronto, I came up with a pretty fun idea for channuka: I decided that I would taste a jelly doughnut from every bekery in the city. For those of you who are familiar with Toronto, that's no small task. Especially when youre stuck in Yeshiva. In the end I somehow pulled it off. That's eight different bakeries! I cant remember which place won. I think that Amazing Donuts pulled in first but I didnt count their win as real. They bake - not fry their donuts. I seem to recall Sams Bakery pulling in second.

My favorite part of the whole experience was getting my doughnut from Sobeys. It was a Friday, some three hours left to shabbos and there was a huge line for doughnuts. I waited in line for close to an hour. Most people were getting to the counter and ordering three dozen doughnuts, I got there and ordered one :-). The lady nearly fell down. She couldnt believe I waited in line for just one doughnut. What choice did I have, It was the second to last bakery on my list.

Anyhow, yes, I know it wasnt a real tasting contest because I didnt have them all in front of me at once, but it was still a lot of fun. I was thinking about doing it this year here in LA, but lack the time. It would have been fun though. Anyhoo, frielichen chanukka ya'll!

Cards

2011-12-21T07:30:00.000-05:00

Today's post is a whole hash of things. First off, a picture taken at our local Ralphs (a supermarket). (For those of you who cant make out what the picture is, its coke, diet coke and fanta 12 packs stacked up in the shape of a menorah.)

On to part two: its Chanuka time. For some reason in many seforim the issue of "cards" comes up under the channuka section. Here is a piece from the Kedushas Levi by Reb Levi Yitzchack of Berditchev. The actual part about cards starts around three quarters of the way in where I randomly highlighted a symbol. I suggest that you read it from the actual sefer as some of the letters here are wrong (copy and pasting hebrew from a PDF doesnt work that well). The link is here.

יד ו ע מאמר חכמינו דל כל דחיקון רבנן כטין דאורייתא

חיקן שגס באותו הנס דחניכה היה גס כן ב׳

מיני שמחות (ורומי) למילתא וצריך למשיח ג״כ זכר לב׳

מיני שמחוח כי אף טל סי שלא היה הנ ס אלא ז׳ ימיס

הוסיפו טור אחח להיכר שמחה השניה ומשני מה הנ ס

דפוריס קבטום אוחו למשחה ושמח׳ ונס דחנוכ׳ לא

קבטום אלא להודוח ולהלל הנראה נז ה דבשלמא נס

דסירים סיס נחסשט מקידם גזירת המן ואחשורש להרוג

ולאבד ושממו בדבר וסתחילו לפורר אח לבבם בחטנית

ולסשסש כל אמד במסשיו וססכימו יחד לעבוד אח סשם

יחי באמח ובלב שלם ואחר כך כשהגביר סבורא ב״ס

אח מסדו הגדול והצילם מהריגה אז ראו בחוש גדול

אהבתו יתברך אבל בנס דמניכה היה מיקר הגזירה

להסבירם מטל חורתנו הקרושה יכול להיות שטיקר הצלתו

יתברך סיחה רק מחמת התורה אשר אהובה לפניו מאז

ומקדם ואס כן אינו ניכר כל כך גידל אהבתו ובשביל זס

לא גדול כל כך פרסום סנ ס סלינו ומל זס לא קבטו

אלא לסורוח ולסלל וא״כ שטיקר סנ ס סיס רק טל שרצי

לסטבירנו מחורחנו סקדושס וסקב״ם ברוב רחמיו סצילנו

ססגזירס סזאח מסראוי לכל אחד אשר בשם ישראל יכונס

לשום בשכלו לסחמי׳ בחורחו יח׳ כי סם ימים ראוים

לכך דסיינו שבכל חנונס סחל לסאיר סלינו סארתו יתברך

מחורחו ולא לילך בקול משחקי׳ כלל מס ושלו׳ ובסרט

שראיתי היו' ~ שבטונותינו הרבי׳ נפרצה פרצס באחינו ביח

ישראל לשחוק בקארטין וקל בטיניפס דבר זם אבל פוו

יורמים שבנל קארט יש בוראי קליפה גדולה אשר לא

ראוי להזכיר׳ סהדי במרומים שלא לדרוש כוונתי רק

לפסיר מכשול מבני אדם דמו אמי ורמי כמה מכשילות

יש בשחוק הזה א׳ שבודאי בטח הזאת נשכח ממנו יראת

ה׳ הבי שבודאי נראה במיני שהוא גזלן הג׳ שמטמאים

אס מצמס בקליפות אשר אין ראוי להביא חיך הסה בכן

א ־,י ורמי בקשתי מאד שאל יקל בעיניכם דבר זה פלא

יוחר טיב שבטח הזאת ילמוד בתורת השם יתברך או

לילך אל תלמיד מכם הקרוב לו לבקש תורה מסיו אזי

ביודאי יאיר מליו הארת הנ ס ויטשה לנו הש״י ניסיס

ונפלאות בתורתו יתברך במהרה בימינו אמ ן

And to end off, the ultimate channuka question: Got candles on your vehicle? A frielichin chanuka ya'll!

Drugs & I

2011-12-20T07:30:00.000-05:00

A guest post by Jewish Gal

'Just hanging in the court playin b-ball,

when these drugged up bugs came out from behind the wall.

They said, "you're no good! We're the best in this neighborhood!"

With no delay, the game got underway,

but the drugged up bugs were too high to play!

They couldn't even hold the ball, couldn't pass, couldn't shoot, couldn't score at all.

(buzz)

That's the buzzer, time to quit, home bees 100, drug bugs zip!

The lesson here is so plain to see, DRUG FREE IS THE WAY 2 BEE!'

~ ~ ~

These are the lyrics to one of the best drug free commercials I saw when I was younger; it was pretty catchy. I grew up with a very clear message about drugs: they're bad for you! Even if all your friends are doing it, don't give in to peer pressure, it's not something that should be considered cool, it's harmful to your body etc.

While peer pressure can apply to many different situations, I've never really had to worry about this one. I've never really hung out with people who had any kind of drug connections or ever wanted to experiment in this way. I always liked to think, should the situation ever arise, I would do the right thing. After all, I've been trained well: Just. Say. No.

This may seem pretty simple, but it's not as easy as it sounds.

Recently, the moment of truth came when the opportunity to 'do the right thing', was given to me.

Here's the thing…I'm a little adventurous, I like to try new things, live in the moment and experience various things life has to offer. I thought it would be interesting to experiment and see what all the fuss was about. I wanted to know what 'a high' felt like. However, if I was serious about doing drugs (that sounds so weird...), the most important thing for me was to do it in a controlled environment, with people I trust. You know how people always say to drink responsibly? It should apply to drugs too, right?

I have never been asked this particular question, but I have heard it asked referring to this issue: 'if your future children ask you if you ever did drugs, what would you say?'. My answer is simple: I would tell them the truth. I had the opportunity to 'get high', but I never ended up taking it. I may have seriously considered it, but in the end I decided that it wasn't for me. After giving it some considerable thought, I knew that I didn't want to put that stuff in my body. I knew that I didn't want to continue hanging out with people who did. Everything that originally seemed so appealing fell to the wayside when I really gave it some thought. In the end I realized that this was one adventure I was okay with not having.

Jewish Gal blogs at "Life's Adventures". If you have yet to check out her blog, here is the link to it.

A Year of Life On a Cotton Ball

2011-12-19T07:30:00.000-05:00

Yup. Its been a year. Somehow. I managed to have at least one post daily for a full year. I think thats pretty insane. Time has gone by pretty quickly, a lot has changed over this year: the city I live in, the job I hold and so much more. Baruch Hashem I can say its been a rather great year and I've enjoyed sharing the little parts of my life which I've posted over the course of this year.

Blogging has been a rather pleasant experience. I've made some good "blogging friends", heck, I've even made some "real friends". Its also been a learning experience getting to read other peoples thoughts and feelings. Anyhow, I thought id mention and thank the blogs which helped me get started, namely Conversations in Klal, MoVinG oN which wrote posts mentioning me right when I began blogging. Other blogs which added me to their blog rolls within the first few weeks of my blog's life are Am Inspiration, Primum Non Nocere, V=IR, A ~~Bachur~~ Yungerman in Lubavitch and Solely in Black and White.

So people, thanking you all for your continued readership. It feels great to think that there are some people out there who actually care to read my mad ramblings. With G-ds help, I will continue providing you daily reading material for the next while, or at least till I get bored of blogging. Here's to the start of a great new year!

Gone

2011-12-18T07:30:00.000-05:00

The work of three months.
Taken apart.
In under five minutes...
Can either sit and think,
Or use it as an opportunity to start fresh.
With that in my mind,
I brush myself off,
And leave the barber shop.

Then It Hit Me - The Car That Is.

2011-12-16T07:30:00.000-05:00

About a month ago I commented on one of my posts about my biking. I love biking. It is healthy, great exercise and much cheaper than driving. On most days, I opt to bike to work instead of driving. Wednesday afternoon I was biking home from work when, a car came flying out of an alley and smashed into me and my bike. Luckily for me, there was a red light so knocking me over didnt mean I fell into traffic. I stood up, brushed myself off. The driver of the car, an Asian lady in her mid twenties just sat there. I moved onto the sidewalk to get out of traffic, checked myself and my bike and saw we were both thank g-d fine. Her car on the other hand... a nice BMV didnt fare as well. I left a nice dent on the drivers side of the front bumper where I hit, as well as scratched up the entire front of her bumber. I cant say I didnt feel good about it. She finally got out of the car, didnt even ask if I was OK, she just wanted to check the damage to her car. I was rather surprised with myself at how calm I stayed, I didnt even yell at her! She finally asked if I was ok, I told her I was and so is my bike. I told her not to rive like a maniac any more, snorted at the damage I did to her car and biked away. Just another day in the exciting life of me.

Wishing ya'll a wonderful Shabbos / Shawbis!

The Outcome

2011-12-15T07:30:00.000-05:00

The Shaloh writes how every yom tov ties in with the parsha in which it falls out. Yud Tes Kislev usually happens in the week of Parshas Vayeishev. At first glance they seem to clash, yud tes kislev is when the Alter Rebbe (Bal HaTanya) was freed from prison. Parshas Vayeishev on the other hand, speaks about Yosef Hatzadik being sold into captivity!

When looking at it closer, however, the similarities become visible. The Alter Rebbe was imprisoned due to a kitrug on him spreading the light of Chassidus to the masses. When he left prison, he began spreading chassidus even more. As the Mittler Rebbe put it, "An olive gives oil when squeezed". The chassidus which the Alter Rebbe taught after his imprisonment was far greater than what he had taught before hand. SO putting it in perspective, the imprisonment was beneficial due to the outcome.

Similar is the case of Yosef hatzadik; his imprisonment was only so that he be able to provide for Yackov and the rest of the shvatim when they later came down to mitzrayim. In addition to that, the whole purpose of the yidden going to mitzrayim was that they later be able to go out, go to Har Sinai an accept the Torah. So in short, the two stories are quite similar; both were of hardships someone faced in order for the later outcome.

I hope that made sense. Anyhow, wishing you all a sweet new year, a Shnas Hatzlacha bilimud hachasidus ibidarchei hachasidus!

Land Of The Rude

2011-12-14T07:30:00.000-05:00

As I have written numerous times in the past, I dislike New York. It just moves too fast for me, people there are rude, cold and just clash with my sunny California personality. Yesterday, buying tickets to go to New York made me think how much I dislike the place. Thinking of New York has me picturing the Cartoon by J.F Griswald, a columnist for the New York Evening in 1913. He created this cartoon to make fun of Cubist Marcel Duchamp's Nude Descending a Staircase. Naming his cartoon The Rude Descending a Staircase (Rush Hour at the Subway) Griswald's cartoon captures New York perfectly!

But, what can I do? For all my dislike of the "Big Apple" I still have to go there. Oh well. Itll only be for three days. I'll survive.

~ ~ ~

If any of you were wondering what I thought / think of the whole Matisyahu beard thing, I think this post by Mottel describes pretty much how I feel.

Mismatched

2011-12-13T07:30:00.000-05:00

Something that consistently annoys me is people who cannot dress themselves. There are some people who can dress but not nicely and then there are those who are just painful to even be near. Like a co worker of mine. The clothing she wears can induce vomiting. She is one of those people who HSBC has to hire in order to impose a strict dress code on her.

Some days are especially bad. I guess the weather has something to do with it. Like yesterday; though I may be slightly off, it went something like this: brown boots, beige leggings with black flower imprints, dark navy skirt, red blouse, and green scarf! Looking at her you didnt know if you were supposed to cry, laugh, gag, feel bad, like what do you do? And does she have no one to help her get slightly coordinated?

So, the thing is like this, do you say something? I think not. A) I just dont think its my place and, B) as I have some nutty dressing tendencies myself, I dont think I should impede on someone elses "creativity". It may make me gag, but hey, shes not asking me to dress like her! One of the other guys feels he should let her know whats up. The consensus so far is that especially coming from a guy, its the wrong thing to do. Thought?

Questions

2011-12-12T07:30:00.000-05:00

Two questions which I liked:

1) What is something you are not good at which you wish you were?

2) If you could reverse one childhood moment what would it be?

Kids...

2011-12-11T18:25:00.001-05:00

Coffee

2011-12-11T07:30:00.000-05:00

This shabbos I heard a rather interesting idea which I thought I'd share. Someone was speaking about coffee. He pointed out how interesting the whole idea of the coffee is. The water starts of drinkable, but its then heated up to a point where its too hot to drink. When one pours it in his cup it cools down a bit so that its drinkable again. One adds coffee, making it bitter, only to add sugar to make it sweet (er). The coffee also makes it dark, to which milk is added to make it light.

The person compared this to the daily avoda a person has. The world started off as a great place, yet over time it became corrupted. Our job is to be the cup, sugar or cream (milk). To clean it up a bit. But the idea isnt to completely bring the world back to the way it was "kodem hachiet", but to change over the bad into good. To work with the world, not to ignore it.

Visions Of Reagan

2011-12-09T07:30:00.000-05:00

At a recent town hall meeting in New Jersey:

First thing that came was Reagan's "Aww shut up" moment.

I Get To Be First!!!

2011-12-09T02:05:00.001-05:00

Although I do not like that Maccabeats in the least, I am posting this simply to be able to call "first". Listen and cringe.(And they ruined a favorite song of mine... pout)

Friday Funny

2011-12-09T01:02:00.001-05:00

The weekly LatmaTv Tribal Update. Enjoy!

Have a wonderful Shabbos / Shawbis!

(PS. For those of you who didnt realize, today is friday the 13th :) )

American Vs French

2011-12-08T07:30:00.000-05:00

Charles Sheeler was one of the great American artists of the early 1900's. He was one of the leaders in American Modernism, as well as one of the most famous nativist painters. In contrasting his art to French art, art critic Forbes Watson set Sheeler apart from the French who "paint by theory and muddle their paint with philosophy". Sheeler on the other hand expressed "in terms of extremely simplified realism the permanent and essential character of the natural object". In other words, Sheeler didnt care for extras. He wanted to get down to fundamentals.

His art reflected the basic American sentiment of being straight forward and organized. Heh. I dont think "American" and "straight forward and organized" can even be said in the same sentence anymore!

70 Years Later

2011-12-07T21:47:00.001-05:00

Kamikaze Swimmers Finally Reach Pearl Harbor.

As seen on The Onion.

Hypocrisy?

2011-12-07T07:30:00.000-05:00

I have a "mishugas" that when I daven I try wearing a white shirt. Its something which stuck with me from my yeshiva days. I put on a white shirt in the morning for shachris and change into a "normal shirt" before I go to work. Yesterday, a fellow congregant of the shul at which I daven, felt the need to let me know that he feels that I am a hypocrite. His reasoning was that "if I feel that a white shirt is appropriate for davening, I shouldnt change into a colored shirt later in the day". I disagreed. I felt / feel that there is nothing wrong with wearing a colored shirt throughout the day, but davening is my private one on one with G-d and I therefore dress differently / specially. Needless to say, he disagreed.

So I'm wondering what the consensus on this is, do you think wearing a white shirt for davening but not the whole day is hypocritical? Or do you think it makes sense, that although G-d is in front of you all the time, davening is a special audience with Him and therefore slightly different? Feelings people?

Old Is New

2011-12-06T23:27:00.001-05:00

Heh. Ron Paul may be a nut, but his campaign ads are pretty good...

Response Of The Decade

2011-12-06T16:53:00.001-05:00

Detroit is a liberal town, but apparently not everyone there is too enamored with the democrats... This morning on the radio.

Show Host : "If a zombie bites a vampire, would the vampire turn into a zombie or would the zombie turn into a vampire?"

Caller: "I dont know, it might turn into a Democrat!"

Mistakes

2011-12-06T11:42:00.001-05:00

Humans tend to make mistakes,
sometimes you get lucky and get a break.
Other times it can come back and haunt,
look you in the face and just taunt.

Those mistakes you didnt realize you made,
there's a price for those: quite heavily you paid.
Take a call, feel betrayed,
run off and reflect in the garden in the shade.

Thinking about it, what was wrong,
what brought a screeching halt to the song?
Not completely sure, dont know the reason why,
but will continue trudging forward with little more than a sigh...

Free

2011-12-06T07:30:00.000-05:00

Today is tes kislev, the day on which the second Chabad Rebbe;Reb DovBerwas released from prison in 1826. he had been arrested on charges that chassidus incited people against the Czar's rule. Some quick facts on the Mittler Rebbe:

The Mittler Rebbe was known for his extreme devotion to chassidus. It was said about him that if one would cut is arm, instead of blood pouring out, chassidus would. As a young child he once hid in the fireplace so that he would be able to hear his father the Alter Rebbe give over chassidus. The house attendant attempted to light the fire while the Mittler Rebbe was still in their, and he ended up suffering from smoke inhalation.

Yud Kislev is a day on which Chassidim do not say tachnun in celebration of the Mittler Rebbe's release.

Linked here is a post on V=IR on the Mittler Rebbe.

Politically Correct

2011-12-05T07:30:00.000-05:00

Political correctness is one of the biggest loads of hogwash ever invented. It is sometimes even comical to see the extremes the liberals go to in order to be politically correct. Take "Whoopi" Goldberg for example, the lady should be a comedian. Some of the things she says are just too funny, like this:

Whoopi does not believe the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor! "It was the Japanese Army" (sic.) Really? I mean come on! There comes a point where it is just idiocy. But then again, isnt that what liberalism is all about?

As A Guest

2011-12-04T07:30:00.000-05:00

I dont really like eating out at people's houses. There are numerous reasons for my dislike, one being as simple as the fact that I only eat certain shechita and chicken has to be split back. That creates a complicated scenario and can sometimes offend people. I therefore just try avoiding the whole shpiel. Another reason why I dont like eating out, is that you are often placed in very uncomfortable situations; like this week.

I ate out at someones house and before the meal even began, there was an "interesting" development which set the tone for the entire meal. As everyone got to the table to take their place, a serious argument broke out between my hosts teenage (17/18) daughter and her 8 / 9 year old brother over a chair. It ended in tears, with the girl running away from the table. That was the quietest meal I have ever been part of. It was the most awkward thing; no one met each others eyes for the duration of the entire meal. It was horrible. Its not the first time I have been over at someones house and witnessed one of those special family moments, but this one was definitely the most awkward one I have "been a part of".

Anyhow, does anyone have any "guest" experiences theyd like to share?

Friday Funny

2011-12-02T12:09:00.001-05:00

The weekly LatmaTv Tribal Update. Enjoy!

Have a wonderful Shabbos / Shawbis!

Its More Than Just a Name

2011-12-02T07:30:00.000-05:00

I recently heard a really interesting story which really had an effect on me: There is a Lubavitcher guy, first named Moishe M. who owned a major international company. One of the countries which he did business with was Morocco. In the course of his business ventures, he met and became friendly with the Moroccan crown prince (the present day king). Their friendship grew to a point, that when the King visited the US, the prince took Moishe over to the hotel where the king was staying so that his father would have a chance to met him. Now, as Moishe was a business man, he had felt it imperative to take on an English name for business; Max. So when the prince introduced Moishe to his father the King, he called him by his English name. The king said something in Arabic to his son, who replied in Arabic as well. A short conversation ensued, after which the prince turned to Moishe and said "My father insists you have another name. I told him you dont, but he is adamant". Moishe replied, that "he actually does have another name, his Hebrew one, Moishe". The king heard that and smiled. He told Moishe "You have the name of the leader of the Jews, the first prophet, and you hide behind a name like Max?".

Moishe told this story over at a farbrengin. He said that the very next day he went and ordered all new buiness cards, changed the name on his accounts and switched to being known as "Moishe". He said, "If even a Muslim goy recognizes how special a Jewish name is, how can I not use mine?"

The lesson I took from the story was first off the specialty of a Jewish name. Within a name is the kochos that a person receives. Besides for that, it also highlighted the idea of having pride in being Jewish. To wear a yarmulka wherever one is, not to hide it under a cap or something. To proudly display tzitzis. To dress properly. To simply express pride in being a Jew.

Have a wonderful Shabbos / Shawbis ya'll!

Vegetarian Issues

2011-12-01T07:30:00.000-05:00

I hate when people ask me about a friend / to suggest a friend for shidduch purposes. For numerous different reasons, I have simply zero interest in getting involved. Occasionally I unfortunately have little choice in the matter; like a few days ago.

Im standing in the kitchen sauteing something or other, when into the kitchen walks Mrs. G. I have known "Mrs G"ever since Im a little kid, a son of hers is a good friend of mine and one of her daughters used to be a friend of mine back in the day. Why Mrs G was in the kitchen is beyond me, I guess she came to talk with the owner or something. Anyhow, she walks over to me and tells me she wants to discuss something. "Purty much" she wants to know if I have any ideas for her daughter. Im rolling my eyes listening with one ear, but then it gets interesting; she starts telling me conditions.

Her daughter will only go out with an extremely frum "chassidishe" guy. This is the kicker, she took on vegetarianism a while back and it means a lot to her. A precondition for any guy she dates has to be that he wont eat meat. She is not only not going to cook meat / allow it in the house, she doesnt want her future husband to eat meat out of the house either! No meat is a precondition to any potential match, cuz to quote her mom "she thinks that anyone who would eat meat is a cruel SOB".

I must say, that condition made my life really easy. I didnt have to hum haw r anything about not having any suggestions, I truly had none! As crazy as it may sound, I do not know a solitary single vegetarian guy! The few vegetarian guys I know all cracked up after marriage and took on that nuttiness (hey, same way they are entitled to their opinion that its normal im entitled to mine that its nutty). I wished her luck and told her that if i think of something id let her know. So Im wondering, is it just me or is she slightly insane? The first thing to ask about a guy whether or not he eats meat?!? I think thats just slightly disturbed... I wish her the best of luck, but have a sneaking suspicion she'l end up 'settling' for a carnivore in a few years down the line...

Irony In A Great Way

2011-12-01T01:03:00.001-05:00

Dorothea Lange's Southern Pacific Railroad Billboard near Los Angeles California 1937

Bullying

2011-11-30T07:30:00.000-05:00

Almost everyone was bullied in school at one point of their life, some worse than others. With regards to dealing with bullies, my opinion has always been that they have to be taught a lasting lesson by way of fists. Most parents wont officially take up that position, as they dont want to teach their children that violence is the answer. Other parents however, realize that there are occasions when the only way to resolve the issue is through a more physical response than words and detention. My parents have always been members of the latter group. Thank g-d my siblings and I never had to put up with bullying, but when it happened, it was brought to a speedy end. Yesterday, my little brother came home from camp with a story that made me proud.

My lil bro is a big kid. Of good solid build, he is one of the "bigger" kids in his class and was therefore never someone who was picked on. Well, yesterday, a couple kids in his class decided to pick on the class "nebachel", when my brother came around. Being who he is (a teddy bear - big but really sweet), he told these two kids to bug off, or he would get involved. They laughed, and one of them hit this kid. My lil bro responded by "teaching those kids a lesson" :-) The teacher wasnt very happy, but hey, he was defending a kid from a couple of bullies.

I gotta say, I'm really proud of him. Now the question is, is that really the right thing. When a child does something like that, what should he be told, good job? Should defending other kids in such a way be commended or condemned?